Content Warning

Welcome to the blog. Hope you enjoy your stay.

Because my stories have bite, they can contain content that isn't suitable for work or children. Not a lot of truly graphic sex or violence, but there are some questionable or heated posts.

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Friday, February 17, 2012

#FridayFlash - Neat Freaks of the Zombie Apocalypse

This is an actual conversation I had with my sister-in-law. Fictionalized a little, but the jist is there.

And if you share the punchline with others, make sure you do so David Caruso style.

***

Dragon_lady: so what are you up to tonight?
rosemum69: trying to get these hinges
                     on my pantry...only thing dont have
Dragon_lady: /snerk oh noes, your food will get out
                      soup on parade
                      unsightly boxes on display
rosemum69: not that
                     it's chaotic
                     i cant have chaos in my life
rosemum69: "mom, where's the sugar?"
                     "under the table honey"
Dragon_lady: neat freak
rosemum69: that's the last thing you
                     could call
                     me. i just have to have order
Dragon_lady: you're going to be miserable come the zombie
                       living in the woods and out of backpacks.    
                       tripping over body parts.
                       scavenging and running and making do
rosemum69: not the same thing
                     there's no house there, nothing permnent
Dragon_lady: until we get a camp. then you;ll have issues
                      "why is that zombie head over there? do you 
                       think we ive in a BARN?"
                       "ummm....yes, actually."
rosemum69: *snort*
                     are you actally bringing your zombie gut covered
                     clothes in here?
Dragon_lady: heads go in that pile, arms go in that pile
                       and wipe your god damn feet before you go into
                       teh abandoned building
rosemum69: you can bring weapons
                     ill bring purell
                     and use it like NAPALM
Dragon_lady: yes, because we need flaming zombies
                       attacking us
rosemum69: and it'l be a clean kill
Dragon_lady: -.-
                       i hate you
rosemum69: but i lurves you
Dragon_lady has signed off.

10 comments:

  1. AWESOME! I could just see a neat freak going postal on a horde of zombies — "YOU CLEAN THIS $#!+ UP! NOW!" and they all start picking up body parts. And eating them. :-D

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  2. That's priceless. Bring on the apocalypse and OCD.
    Adam B @revhappiness

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  3. I am not a neat freak! I just don't want everyone who comes into my place to see that I live on Rice-A-Roni and Popcorn. Also, did you just put your boots on the couch?!?

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  4. and another thing, Rosemum69??? Really ... REALLY?! At least it's not SunshineLollipop (LOL)

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  5. My God, I can imagine my mum being like that!

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    Replies
    1. All the little things we never think about having to deal with.

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  6. Lysol is a great way to ward off zombies. I've seen it work!

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