This is an actual conversation I had with my sister-in-law. Fictionalized a little, but the jist is there.
And if you share the punchline with others, make sure you do so David Caruso style.
***
Dragon_lady: so what are you up to tonight?
rosemum69: trying to get these hinges
on my pantry...only thing dont have
Dragon_lady: /snerk oh noes, your food will get out
soup on parade
unsightly boxes on display
rosemum69: not that
it's chaotic
i cant have chaos in my life
rosemum69: "mom, where's the sugar?"
"under the table honey"
Dragon_lady: neat freak
rosemum69: that's the last thing you
could call
me. i just have to have order
Dragon_lady: you're going to be miserable come the zombie
living in the woods and out of backpacks.
tripping over body parts.
scavenging and running and making do
rosemum69: not the same thing
there's no house there, nothing permnent
Dragon_lady: until we get a camp. then you;ll have issues
"why is that zombie head over there? do you
think we ive in a BARN?"
"ummm....yes, actually."
rosemum69: *snort*
are you actally bringing your zombie gut covered
clothes in here?
Dragon_lady: heads go in that pile, arms go in that pile
and wipe your god damn feet before you go into
teh abandoned building
rosemum69: you can bring weapons
ill bring purell
and use it like NAPALM
Dragon_lady: yes, because we need flaming zombies
attacking us
rosemum69: and it'l be a clean kill
Dragon_lady: -.-
i hate you
rosemum69: but i lurves you
Dragon_lady has signed off.
AWESOME! I could just see a neat freak going postal on a horde of zombies — "YOU CLEAN THIS $#!+ UP! NOW!" and they all start picking up body parts. And eating them. :-D
ReplyDeleteShuffle your feet three times on the welcome mat.
DeleteThat's priceless. Bring on the apocalypse and OCD.
ReplyDeleteAdam B @revhappiness
Must count the zombies before mowing them down.
Delete*blush*
ReplyDeleteI am not a neat freak! I just don't want everyone who comes into my place to see that I live on Rice-A-Roni and Popcorn. Also, did you just put your boots on the couch?!?
ReplyDeleteand another thing, Rosemum69??? Really ... REALLY?! At least it's not SunshineLollipop (LOL)
ReplyDeleteMy God, I can imagine my mum being like that!
ReplyDeleteAll the little things we never think about having to deal with.
DeleteLysol is a great way to ward off zombies. I've seen it work!
ReplyDelete