Saturday, April 20, 2019

Time for another #vss roundup

More of my Tweets; just the #vss or #vss365. Fun stuff, I tell ya.

*Of all their #cryptic psychological tortures, none was more cruel than Daylight Savings Time.

*The dragon guarded the cliff, fierce and fiery, all to protect the delicate faeries from human encroachment.

*The break in her wings had been savage, creating scars and twisting tendons. She felt the ache in them every day, even a century later, and daren't risk hurting them again.

*In a modern world slowly losing shadows, the #vampire and the #werewolf had a #mutual agreement: She drank the blood, he ate the bodies.

*Mutually assured destruction promised a world swept away in a wave of nuclear fire. The ifrit were disappointed when everyone disarmed.

*"You're #pseudonym is the worst." 
   "What's wrong with Writer McWriterface?" 
    "..." 

*She carved the runes deep into the ash tree, speaking the spell as she had at every tree for the last thousand years. "Wednesday is your day, Brother-by-marriage. Come back to us."

*I can't believe my agent made me change my #pseudonym. New York Times Best Selling Author is a guaranteed hit.

*"Take all those tiny sparks you feel, magnify them a thousand times, and you might finally actually have an emotion." I simply blinked at him in response.

*Alarm hairs rose on her neck, and her shoulders tensed. Looking around with fangs bared, the #vampire wondered who might be hunting her.

*"That's...that's not fair!" the knight screamed. "How am I supposed to solve a #riddle in dragon?" 
   The massive creature leaned down, lips peeled back from massive teeth. "Sounds like a you problem, not a me problem."

*Human wizards needed any boost they could get, and were willing to even sell portions of their soul to get that translucent elixir the dark elf sold. No body bothered asking him where he got his fairy liquid from.

*The frightened women cried to the Valkyrie. "We aren't strong enough to fight them in the streets."
   The warrior looked down at them with sympathy. "#Sabotage and poison are weapons anyone can use."

*We at the BlutRose Garten have created a new line: Venomous Blood Roses! Now you have even more reason to avoid those darling #thorns.

*His #frame is something I can't get enough of. Long and lean, narrow in all the right places, broad exactly where he needs to be, and all mine. Mine forever. How did a girl get so lucky?

*Days blur together. I work on my hobbies, read and learn. Couldn't tell you how many years have passed, but such is the bane of immortality.

*The half-dragon laughed, looking at the tattered remains of her wings. "You think you can #inhibit me with just this?" Claws flashed and fire flew, slaying her enemies.

*"What advice would you give me?" she implored the Oracle. 
    The Oracle sighed wearily. "Live your own bloody life and stop asking for someone to do it for you." 

*I lick the hollow in his throat, that lovely little #keyhole to his neck, making him shiver before driving my fangs into his vein.

*The Priests of Quietus provide a necessary service. The give relief to the brokenhearted who have outlived their loved ones. Then they recycle the body for necromantic rituals.

*Missy sighed, staring at her. "You really have to do a more thorough job cleaning. Sloughed skin can #collect around the baseboards and make such a mess." Maybe she shouldn't have become a maid to a necromancer.

*"This isn't some school drama. Things don't work out in the end," he shouted. 
    "Not for you, anyway," she replied, drawing her knife.

 *"Once you don the #robe, you will no longer belong to the outside world. You will be one of us, forever more."
   She pauses, remembering what waits for her outside the mage's tower. Her family, her past, her old life.
   She quickly dresses in the dark cloth.

*Have you ever tried to get four and twenty blackbirds in the same room, let alone a pie? He'd be lucky to get six in the kitchen before they started stealing things, getting into the worst places, spilling all the spice, and pretty much sowing chaos.

*Morrigana strode into the court, pulling all attention to herself. While everyone stared at the half-dragon, her second-in-command appeared behind their target, sword sliding effortlessly into flesh. With minimal effort, they're mission was done.

*His plan to become a #poet was easy. He flipped through his dictionary, searching for the largest words he could find. Stringing them together in lines of few syllables, he put them forth, and critics said he'd captured the mystery of the human condition.

*"Play the #victim," the vampire whispered in her ear. "Run and scream and tell me no."
   She bit her lip, tingling all over. "Should I cry too?"

*"You understand we do it to #verify that you're human." He gestured to the blood pressure machine, eyes hardening with suspicion. 
   Perhaps I would have to fight my way to their king. 

*I had scratched the parrot just under his chin. "I love you," he'd cooed, rolling his eyes closed. Hours later, the fine dust of his feathers is still on my fingers, smelling of his spiciness. Maybe he meant it.

*It was my second day of work. 20 years old and already on the path of an actual career, with plenty of opportunities to make a name for myself. 
    The hospital had left a message. "It's about your mom. You need to come down here." 

*The dragon's #voice echoed across our city, It rattled windows in their frames, filled the spaces between buildings, and drew the populations attention to the enormous creature.
   I was alone, thinking it sounded like a thousand electric guitars. "Beautiful."

*Louis whined about being a #vampire in that book, almost as if he didn't enjoy being a predator. I think he glossed over the aching fangs, the twisting gut, the sharp need for humans, merely because he didn't want anyone to know he enjoyed hunting. I sure do.

*She gave #voice to an unpopular opinion, hoping it might spread the spark of common sense: "Grocery bags aren't hard to recycle. You're going back to the store anyway." It felt like victory just to say it.

*When he brings her another bouquet of roses, she shops for a new #vase. She dries all her flowers and keeps them forever, meaning they each need their own special home.

*For their 15th anniversary, he got her a black pearl set in white gold. She smiled, happy, and kissed him.
   "Aww, who knew you liked the crunchy boogers of oyster snot." He always knew how to ruin a moment.

*I stared at my new dark elf friend. "If you want to blend in with the humans, you need to be less...well, #vicious." Hard to know how she'd take it. 
   She stopped pulling bloody chunks out of her hair for a moment. "But, he insulted my mother. I had to kill him." 

*I sat on that cliff edge for a long time, pondering what the fall would be like. I mean, it would be nice to go out with at least one good thrill, right?
   A fox joined me there, red and beautiful, and just sat with me. He licked my hand, then left.
    I went home.

*Two demons sat in the coffee shop. "Why are we here?" asked the first. 
   The second gestured at all the customers staring mindlessly at their screens. "Just look at all those #vacant hosts waiting for something to inhabit them." 
   They laughed. 

*"The #verdict is guilty." The tribunal stared at the creature in chains, chilled by the endless growls. "Who will perform the execution?" No one stepped forward.

*"It's funny, the language of #violence." The swordswoman held the bandit by his throat, dagger at his gut. "The villagers behind me don't speak it, and that's all your men behind you understand." 
   She killed him, eyeing the remaining men. "Guess I'm an interpreter." 

*The women clustered together, talking about the new Pomski puppy one had brought. "Pets are great," the owner crowed. "They're like babies you can leave in a cage."
   A demoness hiding in their midst quirked a brow. "You don't keep babies in cages?"

*"I've never seen anyone mow the lawn with such #violence." 
    "Don't underestimate her hatred of grass. Calls it an invasive species, she does." 

*"It's the #veterans of the Psychic Wars you have to watch out for," Abigail said during orientation. "When their PTSD is triggered, it can literally blow your mind."

*"Why can't I see the world like this all the time?" I asked my spirit guide. 
   The small dragon nudged me, setting off sparks across my nerves that danced into the void around us. "It's too #vivid for your mortal mind. Even these brief moments might bring insanity."

*I had a conversation with a god last night, but only in my dreams. We spoke on so many subjects, and I felt the power of the truth, and I knew I could ascend to her greatness.
   Then I woke, and couldn't remember a word.

*To most, the symbols on the lintel were just decorative. To the vampire on the porch, he knew the meaning of the ancient letters: safehouse. Sighing in relief, he rang the bell.

*"What's that smell?"
   "Curses are vile spells, with vile ingredients."
   "But...what is it?"
    "#Vomit of dog, slime of slug, eyes of fish, shall grant your darkest wish."
    "And I have to drink that?"
    "There's still time to change your mind,"

*The #dragon sank into her obsidian nest, exhausted. She had to be getting old; setting fire to villages took too much out of her these days.

*"The #viking stalks into the deserted town, seeking all the loot that belongs to him by right."
   "Jason, get away from that cookie jar!"
   "Defeated by the queen's guard for now, the warrior will return for her cookies."

*"When you're going to ride in a hot air balloon, you need to remember *FWOOOOSH*. Everyone get that?" The operator laughs, and I suddenly think about getting out.

*"Well, Dr. Horrid has one in HIS basement."
   "It's not safe."
    "We can throw the trash in, and all your dead minions, and the dog hair."
   "We're not putting a #vortex in the basement, and that's the end of discussion."

*"#Vixens, bitches, lionesses, all the other mothers I don't know the names of, they need to be smart. Vicious. Protective and clever and loving and willing to fight. I want to be the same as them." She rubs her tummy, the twins kicking. "I promise I'll do my best."

*I am an Agent of Balance. My job is to take life as often as it is to protect life. I have been called #villain and beast and murderer so often that I can no longer resist the urge.
    If you want a monster, I will show you one.

*#Villains took pleasure in the destruction of the beautiful monument. They thought we would break. 
   They were wrong.

*Yogsothoth was surprisingly eloquent for a Great Old One. "The problem with calling my home a #void is that it speaks of your limited perception and sensory inputs. There is more richness there than anywhere on your mundane world."

*It was my brother's manner to crack jokes and be an ass, but his marriage advice to me was actually the opposite. "Get a king size bed." I can't tell you how many times those few inches have made the difference.

*She activated the communication mirror, needing to here a friendly voice. "I swear, if one more mortal bumps into me, this #veneer of civility is coming the eff down." Her wings rustled behind her.

*They weren't listening! He warned them of impending doom, but no one reacted. How could he make his message any more clear? "Bark BARK woof whine." 
   "Such a cute puppy." 

*She sipped from the cup, and his eyes widened. The hemlock should have killed her. Her smile revealed sharp teeth.
   "Darling, dark elves wean themselves on #venom. A little poison is just...well, a treat." She licked her lips.

*I rested in the grass while my dog gamboled in the wildflowers. I'd given up the daily rush of work and commute and compete and consume, and I'd never been happier.

*They moved as a herd, picking through the wreckage, looking for anything edible. Mushrooms were common, bugs a crunchy treat. Oh, how she missed the days when being #vegan was a choice.

*"Have you ever noticed how nimble this little guy is with his paws? Digs, pokes, prods, clings, and all other sorts of extraordinary things. I can barely use a spork some days."

*The young woman had been born in her caul, was revered as a shaman even before she came of age. They looked to her for words of wisdom. "You want to know what I've seen through the #veil?" They nodded, and she drew her knife. "Knowledge comes at a price."

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