"Having her makes it
harder, doesn't it?" Kyra laid a hand on Elthanael's shoulder,
standing just behind the sweating elf.
"My lady?" He looked
over his shoulder, too tired from his work out to rise and greet her
properly.
Kyra smiled kindly, maintaining
her touch. A cool breeze came through the training room windows,
stirring her blond hair. Shalafae and Morrigana continued to duel
outside, swords and magic ringing in the air.
"You hide it well, but I
see it," the Sidhehan said. "The pain has increased since
she took you to bed, has it not?"
Elthanael lowered his
honey-colored eyes and returned to repairing his armor. "That is
not a topic for discussion."
She lifted his braid to her
nose, inhaling deeply the scents of elf and exertion and death. "Did
you know the golden ones were intended for pleasure and stewardship?"
He looked up, frowning deeply.
"What does my lady mean?"
"Before they were a fully
vetted immortal race, elves were bred as slaves." Kyra rubbed
the end of his braid across her cheek. "The golden elves were
intended to be stewards and highly trusted body slaves. They were
never meant to smell of death and blood, only lust and perfume."
The assassin was always
courteous, but never held back. "I have missed my lady's point."
Kyra smiled, kissing his braid
before releasing it to fall against his lean back. "My niece has
corrupted you. You coat yourself in darkness for her, and you wound
your heart for her. All the while she ignores you to play with her
father."
Elthanael rose and snapped a
bow at Kyra, eyes hard. "What I do or do not do for my
commander is my business. Excuse me, Lady Kyra, but I must bathe."
The elf turned on the ball of his foot and stalked away.
"I can help you."
"There is nothing I need
help with," he replied without looking back.
"Not even a dragon shaped
hole in your heart?"
His shoulders stiffened and he
stopped. Kyra took several steps toward him, smiling beatifically.
Elthanael turned on her with
anger in his eyes, jaw clenched. For the first time since joining
Morrigana, he spoke sharply to the Sidhehan. "Why do you insist
on meddling in my affairs?"
Kyra continued to approach him,
her white gown whispering across training sand. "I would see you
happy."
Elthanael loomed over
Shalafae's sister, every line in his body tense with restrained
emotion. Even his voice was locked down. "I am happy. I
have a secure place in the universe, limitless power, and the
patronage of an esteemed family. I have access to learning and
training, and have more freedom than I could have dreamed of."
There was a clash of swords outside, and honey eyes darted to the
sound. "And I serve a wonderful woman who allows me to love
her."
She closed until the barest of
distances separated them, looking up into his angular face. "Being
allowed to love doesn't sound happy."
His sadness was plain to her
empathy as he returned his gaze. "Gana loves me too. She would
never hurt me."
Kyra laid a hand over his
scar, fingertips resting against the new one. The ring of teethmarks
gleamed ivory against his golden skin. "You've nearly died for
her, and she repays you with a moment of lust. Was it worth it?"
The elf stiffened, but did not
pull away. "Your lord brother rewarded me handsomely enough."
Kyra raised her other hand to
his arm, caressing him. "All golden whores were paid well."
Elthanael's anger broke loose,
and he grabbed Kyra by the upper arms. He shook her, snarling in her
face. "Enough with your games. My heart is just that; mine.
I will do with it what I want. If it bothers you that I'm in love
with her, then keep it to yourself."
She smiled and kissed him. The
elf froze in shock, his hands loosening. "My niece will need
that passion in the future. But we must take care that it never
becomes bitterness, or you will turn against her."
He blinked, releasing her. "My
lady?" came his soft voice.
"Let us return to my
original question. It's harder to watch Morrigana now that you've
been intimate with her, yes?"
Elthanael stared longingly out
a window. The hybrid swooped around her father, laughing merrily as
they sparred. "Unbelievably so."
"Do you think you could
make her happier than he does?"
"That's treason," he
hissed, snapping his gaze back to her. "Gana belongs to Lord
Shalafae."
Kyra laid a hand over his
heart, and power swelled between them. "That hasn't stopped you
from thinking it."
He lowered his eyes, shoulders
slumped. The elf couldn't voice his answer, but Kyra gleaned it from
his thoughts.
"That is what I
would help you with," she said. "To once more be centered
and accepting. If allowed to fester, this unrequited love will ruin
you, darken your heart to your beloved. When she needs you most, all
that selfless love will be gone, and you will destroy her."
"It's so hard,"
Elthanael whispered, a tear sliding down his cheek.
Kyra embraced him, pulling his
head to her shoulder. "I know. We Shalafaes are a demanding
family. Staying with us is dangerous and painful and draining."
Elthanael wrapped his arms
around her torso, shaking with suppressed sobs. "I love her so
much. I can't leave her side, Kyra." His voice caught, and she
stroked his head. "I don't want to hurt her. What do I do?"
"Let me show you how to
let go."
The elf's head jerked up,
unshed tears making his eyes sparkle. "I don't want to stop
loving her. The joy outweighs the pain."
Kyra gave him a knowing smile.
"Of course it does. It is only the pain you need to let go. You
should see her and smile, not fret because she doesn't look at you.
You once accepted your place at her side, and you will do so again."
They remained embraced.
Elthanael's eyes were dark and weary, his face drawn now that his
defenses were down. "You've seen the future, that she needs me?"
Kyra nodded. "Does it ever...does she..." His voice shook
to much to continue.
She kissed him, long and slow.
"The future is ever in flux, but some things are constant. Ulrin
and Morrigana's love is one of them." His entire body drooped,
and a light left his eyes. Kyra forced the elf to look at her, gaze
boring into his soul.
"Do not ever doubt
that she loves you. That she needs you. She depends on you as one of
her constants, whether or not she tells you so. As a Shalafae, my
niece expects you to simply know that you have a place in her heart
and soul.
"You may never be her
mate, but you will always be her friend."
Elthanael smiled wearily.
"Thank you."
