The dark elf herded her humans into their bunk house. It
was easy to tell the new ones; they grumbled the loudest. She'd make them carve
her slogan into the lintel tomorrow: Strength Through Persecution.
The Controllers laugh at the Populace, amazed at how
predictable and gullible they were. Once nudged in a direction, the Populace
would keep going until they hit an extreme. "Chemicals will solve
everything!"
The dragons ate their lunch on the bank of a freshwater
sea. "Ya know, fish is pretty tasty. We should have more of it."
"Seriously? I've still got water between my scales.
Never get this uncomfortable when I grab a cow."
He realized how easy it was to fall asleep on the back
of a camel, compared to his horse. A lulling, rocking gait, that moved the
rider into a gentle sway that lead to sleep.
Only reason why he might wake up 1000 miles away from
where he started.
They stood amidst the rubble of the capital building.
"You were supposed to use your super power for good!"
He tipped his head, frowning slightly. "But...I
did."
Dennis ran beside the car, strands of barbed wire
separating him from the road. He barked, wanting the giant metal dog to come
play. He had so many fun places on his farm they could enjoy.
But it never joined him. None of them ever did.
I didn't believe in regret. There were no bad decisions,
only good learning opportunities.
Cornered by a pack of hungry ghouls in the old
graveyard, I began to rethink necromancy as a hobby.
The sheets reeked of sickness. A sour onion stench of
nightsweat. All tangled together, evidence of her restless tossing and turning.
I preferred it to the anti-septic chill of the morgue.
Morri and El were deep into their cups, leaning against
each other, rambling on random topics.
"Never call 'im dad," she slurred. "'at
implies carin' and frien'ship 'at he don have. Love Fa'er anyway."
She unfolded from his closet, long limbed and strange.
Like a spider given human form. Her smile was too large, toothy and feral.
"Accountability doesn't mean just apologizing when you screw up."
Her knife glinted as she drew it.
"I have one from the capital city of every country
I've gone to."
"Very cosmopolitan.
Tres chic, even."
"A skull really says a lot about a person."
The clatter of porcelain woke me up. I leapt out of bed,
disoriented, but ready to fight.
The cat meowed, and I knew what stupidity had transpired.
Someone wanted up on the new shelves, but all my knick knacks were in the way.
Took two hours to get back to sleep.
"Well, that just chaps my
ass."
"...don't engage, don't engage, don't
engage..."
"Have you SEEN what stupid shit he said this
time?"
"...keep head down..."
"What is WRONG with people?"
"...not worth answering..."
"You...just killed him."
"I put him out of his misery."
"You're a nurse. You're supposed to care."
"I DO care. I showed him true compassion,
by giving him mercy. Why would you want him to suffer?"
"I...I...but..."
"Talk to me again when you understand."
"You have got to update your style."
"Do I? I mean, HAVE TO is a strong statement."
"Why are you so opposed to looking good?"
"If by looking good, you mean being a trendy
little bimbo..."
"Ugh. Just stick to your books, nerdy bitch."
She lined the fence with mirrors, chanting an old phrase
from her grandmother. Neighbors thought she was eccentric, and grumbled about
the flashes of light during the day.
They had very little to say about the faeries that came
through the magic portals.
They met for lunch and chatted about their husbands.
"I could serve him a can of dog food, and he'd never notice." She
took a deep swig of her chardonnay.
The other smirked. "Twenty years, and I can still
stir his blood with just a flash
of my tits."
"We're alone now," the vampire whispered,
shutting the door.
My pulse raced, and I bit my lip. "We certainly
are." I pulled my hair over my shoulder, revealing my neck. "What do
you want to do?"
"Parrots can't taste hot
things, so that's why chilies evolved to be spicy. Only parrots can eat
them."
"How did they know to do that?"
"Huh?"
"How did the chilies KNOW to become hot?"
"I...uh..."
"That's why evolution is just a theory."
"Is dadditude
a bad or good thing?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Well, dads take a lot of guff on the internet, and
I wanted to clarify before I used it."
"Probably safer to just avoid the subject."
"I think you're right."
The Oracle and The Prophet met for lunch. They had to
compare visions now and again, make sure they kept their stories straight.
"It's super funny," The Prophet said.
The Oracle sipped her latte. "I know. They all want
answers, but never check if they're right."
"Crap, she's here."
"And that is..."
"A bad sign, for sure. Storms follow her."
"Sounds fun."
"Not if she stays. You've never seen floods from
constant torrential downpours, have you?"
The sun set on the Summer Solstice, and the faerie sat
on her favorite rosebush, head in her hands.
"What's wrong?" her friend asked.
"It's only going to get a little bit darker each
day. I much prefer Winter Solstice."
"It's only natural."
"Don't you dare embarrass me."
"Well, I mean, the first definition has nothing to
do with -isms. People discriminate
all the time, like fruit, cars, or dogs."
"People are starting to stare."
"Take the stigma out of discrimination!"
"How about an exhibition
of your skills?"
"Could get dangerous."
"C'mon. It'll be fun."
"A lot of innocent bystanders."
"They'll enjoy it too."
"Fine. Just a small town girl, living in a lonely
world..."
"Remember when you said KeyWest
looked like a dick from above?"
"Oh, yeah. I was pretty high."
"Yeah, well, um...apparently it is. And Florida is
a kaiju that just woke up."
"I think we need to get a lot higher."
"Our community
is small for a reason."
"You're all bigots and closed-minded?"
"Wow. Harsh."
"I mean, how diverse IS it?"
"You do know there are studies that show people are
happier and trustful around others of their own kind?"
"BIGOT!"
"Nevermind."
